« on: April 14, 2012, 09:48:50 PM »
I'm new here, but I've been checking out this site for a while and have become well acquainted with it. I forgot about this website for a while and have just now rediscovered it. This is my Star Wars fan-fiction story. It has two parts, starting in the Clone Wars and picking up again in 300 A.B.Y. It will follow many different characters and the battles they fight in.
This is so far a rough draft and overview about what the story will be about. I need some ideas for how to start it, ideas and suggestions from you guys would help. I want to know what your opinions on it are so far. After the overview I will start writing the story. The people in it participated in more battles in the Clone Wars than just the Kronos Campaign by the way.
EDIT: I have now fixed all the things that Drake has mentioned so just disregard the next two messages if you want to.
[spoiler]This is all stuff that’s part of my Star Wars story. Some stuff may be subject to change.
The story I've come up with is long and complicated. It starts in the Clone Wars and begins again in about 300 A.B.Y. To start off, there are four characters encountered first. These four characters are four Mandalorian teachers in the Cuy'val Dar. They each have a codename or callsign and they are: Alpha Elite, Beta Elite, Cetus Elite, and Delta Elite. I'll start out by explaining the origins of these four characters.
Alpha Elite- I have not thought of a name for him, so I need help to come up with one. Originally he was a slave boy to a Hutt crime lord and had no parents. The Hutt crime lord who controlled him treated him like dirt and made his life hell. Slowly but surely, Alpha Elite started to plan his revenge on the Hutt. One day when he served the Hutt his drink and after he drank it, he suddenly fell over and died. Little had the Hutt known, Alpha Elite had put enough poison to kill a Hutt in that drink. Some of the people in the Hutt's entourage realized this and attacked the boy. Alpha Elite picked up a weapon on the ground and fought off and killed them. Then a Mandalorian appeared and tells him that he was watching the whole fight and was impressed. He asks the boy if he would like to come with him to Mandalore and train to be a Mandalorian warrior. Alpha Elite agrees immediately because he had seen Mandalorians in the Hutt's palace and had always dreamed of becoming one. After years of training him, Alpha Elite's dream comes true and he fights in the Mandalorian Civil War against Death Watch. He eventually becomes friends with Dahcik Starkiller, who is Delta Elite and becomes part of the Cuy'val Dar. I imagine Alpha Elite being the Mandalorian version of Mace Windu, as in they have a similar appearance. Also by coincidence he ended up being a lot like Emile from Halo: Reach. He is a badass like him and favored a shotgun. Alpha Elite specialized in close-quarter combat and was not very skilled in long range combat.
Beta and Cetus Elite- I put these two together because they are identical twin sisters and for the sake of space. I don't have names for these two either so I need some ideas. Beta and Cetus Elite were the daughters of a Journeyman Protector, but then one day he and his wife were killed by a member of Death Watch. They were taken in by the True Mandalorians and fought against Death Watch in the Mandalorian Civil War and later became part of the Cuy'val Dar.
Delta Elite- His name is Dachik Starkiller and he is probably the most badass Mandalorian you'll know. Dachik is possibly a distant descendant of Bendak Starkiller. He was orphaned at a young age and was living on the streets of the city he lived in. He had a very aggressive personality at that time and was constantly tempted to do bad things and everyday was so angry at how terrible his life was. Then one day the city was attacked by Death Watch. Seeing a way off the planet and away from his terrible life, he asked Death Watch to take him with them and they did; it was a decision he would regret. They trained him in the art of war and how to use weapons.
One day when he was a teenager he witnessed from afar the Death Watch attack on the farm of Jango Fett's family. He saw them shoot Jango's mother and kill his father. Dachik began to have doubts about whether he was on the right side, witnessing their cruelty, and felt bad when they captured Jango’s sister Arla Fett. From that day Dachik began to become more and more aggressive. He did many terrible things along with the other Death Watch members, such as: killing woman and children, massacring hundreds alongside his fellow Death Watch, and many other brutal and haunting things. It turns out that Dachik was actually the Death Watch member who had killed Beta and Cetus Elite's parents and from that day on they hated him. He once made the mistake of facing Kal Skirata in battle who with his vibro-blade gave Dachik the scar across his face that would became one of his signature traits, but this is not Dachik's only battle scar.
It all changed when one day he met a Mandalorian woman who was on the side of the True Mandalorians. She had a conversation with him after defeating him in battle and left him on the ground to die. Dahcik began to wonder if maybe the Death Watch cause was the wrong one. The True Mandalorians then found him took him to the base of the True Mandalorians to be interrogated and executed. After being beaten and tortured, Dahcik said that he didn’t want to be a part of Death Watch anymore and wanted to leave. He gave them information about the Death Watch and in return, instead of killing him they left him on a jungle planet where they expected him to die in the wilderness. But they didn’t expect him to survive and make it off the planet. He met back up with the Mandalorian woman he had met after the Mandalorian Civil War ended and they became friends, she being the only person who understood him when many others feared him. I haven't thought of a name for her so please help.
Then one day she is killed by a cyborg Mandalorian conqueror, the self proclaimed Mandalore the Destroyer, a dark and tragic remnant of the Mandalorian Civil War, who later joins the CIS in the Clone Wars, and who has a personal vendetta against Dahcik. After she dies, Dahcik promises to himself to always remember the way she helped him to escape his fate and to get revenge against Mandalore the Destroyer. He joins the Cuy'val Dar and helps to train the clones. Many of the True Mandalorians that Dachik had fought against were also in the Cuy'val Dar and they were at first against letting him join and were surprised at how he’d survived being dumped in the wilderness. But Jango Fett and a few others let him join, seeing how useful he might be in training the clones. He became friends with Alpha Elite who was equally skilled and cunning like Dachik. Beta and Cetus Elite were in the Cuy'val Dar as well and hated him, but Dachik felt bad for what he did and made a secret vow to protect the young twins from harm. Over the course of the time he trained the clones, he did many things to try to redeem himself. He started to develop a sense of compassion towards those he cared about and the clones he trained.
Dachik helped in training the clone commandos and very slightly in training the Arc troopers. Since he was not as involved in the training and was not as informed with classified information, he was allowed to leave Kamino, but only very rarely and he was not permitted to go to a civilized system during the training. On one backwater planet he met a Kaminoan who had been born a runt and had green eyes and had a shorter neck than a regular Kaminoan. His name was Ardaan Sai, a relative of Ko Sai, who he despised and who had mistreated and abused him as a child. He had somehow escaped termination for his “genetic impurity” and had hid on that planet. Dahcik decided to take Ardaan with him and train him as a Mandalorian. As a result of not being raised of Kamino, Ardaan had developed a distinctly different personality from Kaminoans and began to see himself as a Mandalorian after Dachik had trained him. I imagine his personality being kind of like Sunny's from I Robot. Ardaan Sai went to great lengths to hide his Kaminoan heritage and even lied that he was Rattataki and was somehow able to change his eye color so none of the Kaminoans would notice. Ardaan was allowed more freedom and could freely leave Kamino while Dachik rarely could. He brought Dachik news of the outside world and specialized in technology. Dahcik and Ardaan were eventually accepted by the other Mandalorians of the Cuy’val Dur, though they did not know Ardaan was a Kaminoan. Dachik, the clones he trained, and a few others who he befriended were the only ones who knew Ardaan was a Kaminoan.
Dachik kept his Death Watch past a secret from the clones he trained, even Alpha Squad. But one day during the Clone Wars the truth came out when he was visiting the Coruscant Prison and was attacked by Arla Fett in the cafeteria of the mental institute and she called him a "Death Watch monster" and he had to explain to Alpha Squad what that meant. Also Dachik had helped in training Alpha Squad and became their mentor and unofficial adviser. Dahcik is an aggressive, cunning, and brutal type character, but he can still show compassion and caring. Dachik was known for doing things in a nonchalant and often rude manner. He kind of looks like Tyber Zann, but has black hair instead of white and was huge compared to most other humans.. He was skilled in using many different weapons, but most often used a heavy blaster pistol. Most weapons were too small for him because of his large size.
The SOC Units, (Special Operations Clones) received special conditioning that made them slightly stronger and faster than regular clone troopers. When the SOC Units were at their original four hundred clones, they were sent to fight in a planetary system called the Kronos System in a mission called the Kronos Campaign. The commander of the droid forces there was the cyborg, self proclaimed, Mandalore the Destroyer, who was mentioned earlier. The Republic was for the most part unaware of the battles going on in the Kronos System. The Republic only sent one Jedi to the Kronos System, Jedi Master Baron Naris. He was unlike any other Jedi, both in skill and personality. He was also skilled in using guns, having learned it on his homeplanet before he became a Jedi.
He was assigned to lead an eight-man squad of SOC Units, made up of SOC-375 Commander Dimal, SOC-374 Commander Bodni, SOC-377 Captain Gatro, SOC-333 Lieutenant Sage (a.k.a Ven'vul), SOC-241 Sergeant Frag (a.k.a Flare), SOC-157 Captain Roc, SOC-66 Sergeant Stach (a.k.a Fierfek), (need help coming up with the eighth, and along with the rouge Mandalorian Kaminoan runt Ardaan Sai, the four Mandalorian trainers: the brown skinned Mandalorian, the female twins, and Dahcik Starkiller.
About the SOC Units aka, Special Operations Clones: They were picked out from regular clones that had shown exceptional skills in combat and were given special commando training. There were originally 400, divided into four classes. Each class was trained by one of four Mandalorian teachers. Alpha Elite, the two female twins (need a name for them), who go by Beta and Cetus Elite, and Dahcik (pronounced Day-zhick, can also be spelled as Dachik) Starkiller, who's codename is Delta Elite. The way their codenames were used was actually more like a callsign than a codename. For Beta and Cetus I did not use Bravo and Charlie because I didn’t think it would sound like something you’d hear in Star Wars. The callsigns go by the Greek letters, except for Cetus, who gets hers from Ord Cestus, the homeplanet of the twins, but with the first”s” removed.
Class A-Units 1-100, Intelligence and Stealth, Trained by Alpha Elite
Class B-Units 101-200, Battlefield Ops and Marksmen, Trained by Beta Elite
Class C-Units 201-300, Explosives and Demolitions, Trained by Cetus Elite
Class D-Units 301-400, Assassination and Special Ops, Trained by Delta Elite
SOC 375-Commander Dimal
SOC 374-Commander Bodni
SOC 377-Captain Gatro
SOC 333-Lieutenant Sage/Ven'vul
SOC 241 Sergeant Frag/Flare
SOC 157 Captain Roc
SOC 66 Sergeant Stach/Fierfek (Mando Merc, a friend of mine, helped think of the name for this one)
I need help coming up with the name of the eighth.
In the Kronos System they went from planet to planet, fighting the advanced battle droid armies of Mandalore the Destroyer, leaving behind a trail of destruction in their wake. They visited Yiddle a swamp planet, Khen' Var a snow planet, Teranos a Felucia-like planet where it was always dark, Celdor a mostly ocean planet, Natwala a planet of dense forests, Seluria a lava planet, Crathor a desert planet and Jedi Master Baron Naris' homeplanet, he being a Crath, a species that appeared human in every way but lived for centuries.
Throughout the battles they, had many horrifying and mentally scarring experiences, their deeds included: fighting against the centipede droids in the horrifying darkness of Teranos and destroying them, fighting on the hellish swamps of Yiddle and freeing the Yiddians, stopping production of the B-4 Mega battle droids and destroying their factories on Crathor where they fought with the Desert Clone troopers of the 39th Desert Corps and their Commander Sandstorm and Captain Shockwave.
Throughout the battles, they continually searched for and traced the whereabouts of Mandalore the Destroyer, who was responsible for killing Baron Naris' padawan: the attractive female Twilek Lani Sori and the Jedi Drelia Mirr, who he had loved. He had taken the life of someone dear to every member of their company, he had also killed Dahcik's friend many years ago. Because of his destructive nature and the trail of devastation he left everywhere he went, the clones that fought in the Kronos system simply referred to him as, “The Destroyer”.
The cyborg body of The Destroyer was a huge, white, droid-like body that towered at almost three meters tall and had a helmet with a “T” shaped visor like most other Mandalorian armor. He was a master of many weapons and his cyborg body also had many built in weapons. This, along with his heavily armored body, essentially made him a walking tank. Whenever he was being slowed down or needed to fight in close combat, he could eject from his large cyborg body and fight with his much smaller, but real cyborg body, it having built-in vibro-blades, but no built-in guns, so he had to find one to use. The Destroyer reported directly to General Grievous and was one of his most favored subordinates; both of them being cyborgs, but warriors at heart.
They picked up the trail from the droid bodyguard of a Skakoan scientist, Ardrick Melaan, who had saved Mandalore the Destroyer's life and made him the cyborg that he is. The droid body guard was named C1-D4 "Arctus" (Conqueror- 1/Destroyer- 4 War droid) built by Ardrick himself and being similar to HK-47 in personally, but more refined. Ardrick Melaan expressed interest to them to join their cause and help them after he had a falling out with the rest of the Separatist council and the Techno Union, and after his own group, The Manufacturing Syndicate, was disbanded.
The trail led them to the ice planet Groth, where Mandalore the Destroyer was using Ardrick's old lab as his secret base. Ardrick gave them information on a secret tunnel to get into his old lab while the main force of SOC Units would attack on the outside. The entire force of SOC Units on the outside was killed, but they were able to buy their company enough time to get into the lab before Mandalore the Destroyer could detonate an explosive device. Once inside, they battled him, he however proved to be too much of a match for them, but Ardrick activated a kill switch in his cyborg body, which majorly disabled him, but he manages to get away to an escape ship along with some experimental equipment and blueprints.
After the battle, they bury all the dead SOC Units on Groth and make a memorial there, and give all the weapons and armor to Ardrick for study and salvaging of parts. There are now only eight SOC Units left. Ardrick then becomes a great asset to them; they would go and visit him for resupply, weapon upgrades, new gear, and all sort of good stuff. They would keep his location a secret because technically he was wanted by the Republic for his role that he had in the CIS. He said that he would try to find a way to stop the accelerated aging of the clone members of their company, even though he said his specialty was cybernetics and robotics. For some strange reason, they kept this a secret from Kal Skirata, who would have defiantly wanted to know in order to stop the accelerated aging of the Null-class Arc troopers.
The SOC Units were then disbanded and Dimal, Bodni, Gatro, Roc, and the eighth SOC Unit go back to being clone troopers, but eventually become clone commandos. Sage, Frag, and Stach change their names to Ven'vul, Flare, and Fierfek and would go back to being clone troopers as well, but with more skill and independent thought. They are eventually put into Alpha Squad and continue to serve in the Clone Wars and track down Mandalore the Destroyer. Alpha Squad is then integrated into the Special Operations Brigade, just as the SOC Units had been. Three other clones join Alpha Squad: Arc troopers Jai (Alpha-59), and Razor (Alpha-18), and a clone commando known as Magnum. Later Magnum is killed in action and is replaced by an Arc trooper sharp shooter known as Alpha 7, later Wraith. After the formation of Alpha Squad, they participate in many other battles in the Clone Wars, during which Dimal, Bodni, Gatro, Roc, and the eighth former SOC Unit would often assist them, though the eighth would die sometime during the many other battles they fight. Aside from the Kronos Campaign and Alpha Squad missions, there was a lot more things that happened in the Clone Wars part of the story. That part will be the bulk of the story and I need ideas for more to add to it.
At the end of the Clone Wars Kal Skirata goes to Dahcik and offers to help them flee to Mandalore, seeing how he has changed. Dahcik thanks him but says that they would not fit in on Mandalore because they would never be able to understand many of the Mandalorian values and ways of life because they had changed too much and have become distant because of the experiences in the war. Kal says farewell and tells him of his mission to stop the accelerated aging. Kal then says that they'll keep in touch, and Dahcik tells him that he and his company, in the mean time: they have places to go, things to do, and people to kill.
They flee to Groth where Ardrick tells them that the cure for the accelerated aging will take a while to find and tells them that in order for them to receive the cure in time, they will have to be cryogenically frozen. Jai, Razor, Wraith, Flare, Fierfek, Ven'vul (if those three are still alive), Dimal, Bodni, Gatro, and Roc all say their farewells and go into the tubes, (I may need to kill off a few more of them. That seems like too many survivors.) Ardrick leaves Arctus to watch over the tubes and his lab. Jedi Master Baron Naris says farewell to his friend Dahcik and departs to places unknown, not telling anyone of his activities, one of them was secretly looking for his long lost brother, who he was separated from in a sandstorm on his homeplanet. Throughout the Clone Wars part of the story, the clone characters had grown fond of Baron Naris and see him as more than just a Jedi and he becomes a great friend to them.
Ardaan Sai says that he wants to travel with Dahcik because Dahcik is the only person he has ever had a bond with, seeing him as a father, being thankful to Dahcik for finding and training him as a Mandalorian, which gave him a future. Ardaan Sai is also a scientist type; he had stolen some of Ko Sai's vital information before leaving Kamino and is also helping in the search for a cure while traveling with Dahcik and Dahcik adopts him as his son. Ardaan would often help in Ardrick’s search for the cure. The two female twins, having originally hated Dahcik for killing their parents when he was in Death Watch finally forgive him. Dahcik having grown fond of them adopts them as his daughters. (I need names for them, ideas please). Alpha Elite, the Mandalorian version of Mace Windu also decides to travel with Dahcik, his best friend, (need a name for him too, ideas please). Ardaan Sai, Dahcik, the twins and, Alpha Elite become bounty hunters in the time of the Empire and searched for information for a cure and the whereabouts of their enemies, and often visited Ardrick for a number of reasons.
From time to time the clones would be let out of the tubes and would join the others on their hunts. Eventually the others decided to go in the cryogenic tubes with the clones and stayed in there until 300 A.B.Y. When they finally get out of the pods, that's when the second part of the story begins. They are thrown into a strange future, further than they meant to go, and into a galaxy they now know little about…..