Author Topic: Vode None.  (Read 26690 times)

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Eparavu

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #20 on: July 22, 2010, 07:49:19 PM »
Might be able to do another tonight :O zounds.


Addendum: You guys better love this :P
Not my usual quality, but I had to write fast.
« Last Edit: July 22, 2010, 09:23:42 PM by Barrel »

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Eparavu

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #21 on: July 22, 2010, 09:24:10 PM »
Darkness. Darkness everywhere. You clear it away and you find it was just holding a seat for more darkness. Feel better now Barrel?
NO.
Then what?
Just feel...
Alone?
...Yeah...
Pathetic.
Shut up... you dont know me.
If only that were the case.

"Wake up, CT-3470."
A cold, sterile voice wafts into my mind.
My eyes open. Or were they always open? I strain to close them again, to hide behind my eyelids.
I can't. They won't close... why?
The world seems murky, like I'm looking through water. I realize I am floating.
Oh no...
All around me, the harsh casing of a transparisteel tank. To a larger extent, rows and rows of them filled with tiny buds of flesh, floating, twitching, feebly trying to escape the horror of its own existance.
Slender pale figures browse the tanks, inspecting, judging. One stops at me, and its gaze changes.
"It seems this one is inadequate," coos the sickening tenor.
Thin, tendrilous fingers reach through the glass, coming for me.
I try to scream, but I have no mouth. I have no arms to fight back, nor legs to flee.
I have no chance. I have no choice.
The cold white fingers lace around me, crushing me.
The touch is so cold, so hard, so heavy...
I can't breathe.
This is it.

"Think he's dead?"
Did I say that? No...  But it sounded just like me..
Astounding pressure surrounds me.
"We couldnt be so lucky."
There it was again. But different.
My lungs scream for oxygen.
I can feel my fingers. I manage to move my left arm, groping around where my face should be. I feel a mess of ravaged metal. I try to sit up; I manage to shift the captive debris a bit. Slowly I alternate sitting up and pushing with my free arm. Eventually I force myself out from under the rubble, and taste fresh air again. The geonosian sun glares at me through my shattered visor.
"Shab, he's alive. I owe you a drink, Bangor."
I roll to my hands and knees, gulping air and coughing red dust. Two of the commandos stand before me, sillhouetted in the red luminescence.
"You bastards could have helped me."
"You looked like you had it."
I glance to my right. The third commando is crouched over the fourth.
"He's dead..."
The other two hang their heads.
"Not the first or last clone to die on Geo." I chide.
"What is the matter with you?" One of the standing clones approach where I half stand.
"Where do I begin?" I stand, looking him directly in the visor. "Spending one minute with you lovely lot, then the next unconcious under the remains of my ship kind of puts a damper on my mood." I don't want a fight with these matching murder machines, but I won't let them walk on me. We maintain eye contact for a moment, before he is pulled away.
"We need to complete the mission." The third commando rejoins the group. He glances at me. "Can you use a weapon?"
I scoff, and make a steering gesture with my hands. "If you've got a gun I can climb inside of and drive around!"
"Im getting sick of your attitude!" Bangor again.
"I'm getting sick of your face."
The trio of commandos stare at me for a moment, unsure what to make of the statement. Clone jokes reach a whole new level of hilarity if you are one.
We stood in silence for a moment, before the silence was broken by the a small tumbling of rocks.
The three commandos stared at the disturbance, as did I. Standing proudly atop a craggy spire, a blood-red mandalorian pointed a missile launcher at us.
"Shab!" shouted one of the clones, as we scattered. The nameless two went one direction, Bangor and myself went another. We dove for cover behind a smoldering heap of my ruined ship. There was a hiss, and an explosion. Bangor unslung his weapon and peered over our shield.
"NOOO!" He roared. As I peek over the ravaged hull, I see what had befallen the pair who had not found a shield.
Bangor fired his weapon at the mandalorian who had killed his brothers, and I turned to run. I dont know where I am going. Only that I needed to escape.
I skirt along the cliff face, hoping to find a way down, a place to hide until I could possibly salvage my radio. Behind me, the sound of blaster bolts echo from the mountain face. I round the corner, and come face to face with another mandalorian. I jump back, before realizing he is half my height.
"Wow you guys come in all sizes don't you?"
In his hands he grips two blades, the one in his right reversed.
"Good luck using those surrounded by rocks!" I look for a way around him, as he raises his right hand and drives the butt of his sword through my ruined visor.
For the second time in a few short minutes, things go black.
* * * * * * * * * * *
Hetty meandered around the wreckage, both human and vehicular.
"Bev'ika. There you are. Did you get the pilot?"
He hung his head. "No, buir... I accidentally knocked him off the cliff."
She laughed. "Thats my little verd'ika. Don't worry son, mine got away too. For knockoffs of Jango, those guys are pretty quick. Now help me gather up anything useful, and let's get back to the lab. We can likely be expecting company soon."

* * * * * * * * * * *

I awaken, hours later, a ways down the mountain. My body is throbbing. I take stock of my surroundings; I seem to have rolled down the side of the thing and under an outcropping. My ankle seems strained, but I can make myself stand. The geonosian sun has set, and it is growing cold.
I am all alone, stranded on an enemy world with no supplies, no applicable training and no hope.
...
I could really use a vod right now.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2010, 09:45:17 PM by Barrel »

No hate here, only creeper love.
Watching you through your windows.
Staring from a distance.
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Always loving.
ALWAYS.

Ky'ram Parjai'Kote

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #22 on: July 22, 2010, 11:06:40 PM »
Did I mention I have a full plate?

Appetizer: EPIC
Entree: AWESOME
Main Course: BEVIIN'S FANFIC
Lists of games I play:
-- Star Trek Online
-- KOTOR (1 and 2)
-- SWTOR
-- Terraria
-- TF2
-- Magicka
-- Left 4 Dead 2
-- Garry's Mod
And nearly any other F2P game on this planet.

Eparavu

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #23 on: July 24, 2010, 04:13:46 PM »
Glad you like it. I think I burned myself out on writing for a few days...

No hate here, only creeper love.
Watching you through your windows.
Staring from a distance.
Always watching.
Always loving.
ALWAYS.

Mereel Skirata

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #24 on: July 25, 2010, 08:02:45 PM »
Great job B,  as always I love how you write.    I'm sad for Barrel though, he has no friends...  :(




"No, buir... I accidentally knocked him off the cliff."  I lol'd

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Eparavu

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #25 on: July 25, 2010, 08:07:02 PM »
You guys are all the fanship anyone could ever need ^>^

No hate here, only creeper love.
Watching you through your windows.
Staring from a distance.
Always watching.
Always loving.
ALWAYS.

Ky'ram Parjai'Kote

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #26 on: July 27, 2010, 04:44:16 PM »
We aim to counter-please...
Lists of games I play:
-- Star Trek Online
-- KOTOR (1 and 2)
-- SWTOR
-- Terraria
-- TF2
-- Magicka
-- Left 4 Dead 2
-- Garry's Mod
And nearly any other F2P game on this planet.

Eparavu

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #27 on: July 28, 2010, 11:36:07 PM »
Everyone else seems to have lost interest. Right when it starts to get good.

No hate here, only creeper love.
Watching you through your windows.
Staring from a distance.
Always watching.
Always loving.
ALWAYS.

Ky'ram Parjai'Kote

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #28 on: July 28, 2010, 11:38:14 PM »
You're forgetting us, man. Your dedicated fanbase.

Don't spit on us by changing canon, and introducing Darjar.
Lists of games I play:
-- Star Trek Online
-- KOTOR (1 and 2)
-- SWTOR
-- Terraria
-- TF2
-- Magicka
-- Left 4 Dead 2
-- Garry's Mod
And nearly any other F2P game on this planet.

Eparavu

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #29 on: July 29, 2010, 05:51:18 PM »
Just heard the podcast... 'not exactly the pinnacle of literacy we strive for'? Thanks, Drake. I realize I'm often too excited about finishing to fix all my typos but that was a little unkind. Unless my craptop speakers lied to me and I misheard you, I think I am done on this forum. I dont put myself out there like that to take that sort of abuse.
« Last Edit: July 29, 2010, 06:06:37 PM by Barrel »

No hate here, only creeper love.
Watching you through your windows.
Staring from a distance.
Always watching.
Always loving.
ALWAYS.

Mereel Skirata

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #30 on: July 29, 2010, 09:51:34 PM »
I agree,  If he did in fact mean it as you think then he is wrong.   This is a very well written and played out story.   


Having read this and Child of Sight I have to completely disagree with Drake, had I been more alert in the Podcast I would have corrected him.


Keep up the great work and do some Barrel rolls while you're at it!
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Drake Vhett

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #31 on: July 30, 2010, 12:09:10 PM »
I vaguely remember the comment. Remember what I said at the end of the podcast? "Everything mean I've said was a joke"? Then I made a comment about how people would take me too seriously and get upset? Your in that group. And when I made that comment I was thinking of the typos and again, making a joke. I openly bashed all of the Ky'rams and none of 'em left( as much as I was hoping :) ). And what do you mean by "this kind of abuse". One off-handed, marginally unflattering, joking comment is abuse? And saying you'll leave to forum for that is quite... I don't know the proper word for it. At least a word I can use that you won't blow out of proportion. And don't think I'll apologise, I have nothing to feel sorry for.


Drake is flamboyant, and may go over the top, but if he were not that extrovert then who would move things along?

Eparavu

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #32 on: July 30, 2010, 01:08:32 PM »
Well I admit I overreacted. Ysee Vhett there's this thing called real life, that can affect and influence what we do in our little text based world. If you ever find that your entire lifespan is measured by the level in a little glass vial, you may find that suddenly seeing it is empty will make you a bit spastic. So yeah, I flipped out a bit much.
 I counted my typos, by the way, there were 5 from part one to four. If you're going to get harsh on someone's art, make sure they at least deserve it.

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Staring from a distance.
Always watching.
Always loving.
ALWAYS.

Drake Vhett

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #33 on: July 30, 2010, 02:24:39 PM »
Don't get all weepy on me now.


Drake is flamboyant, and may go over the top, but if he were not that extrovert then who would move things along?

Eparavu

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #34 on: July 30, 2010, 02:43:12 PM »
That would be embarassing, Fett's Vhette.

No hate here, only creeper love.
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Always watching.
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Drake Vhett

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #35 on: July 30, 2010, 02:49:43 PM »
Is that supposed to be an insult? If so I'm touched that you tried so hard, but still managed to fail.


Drake is flamboyant, and may go over the top, but if he were not that extrovert then who would move things along?

Eparavu

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #36 on: July 30, 2010, 02:53:25 PM »
I just thought it was funny. If you're bent on an argument though I'm sure I can come up with something.

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Drake Vhett

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #37 on: July 30, 2010, 03:00:59 PM »
An argument? Well, there are too many censors on the site for me to properly argue so....


Drake is flamboyant, and may go over the top, but if he were not that extrovert then who would move things along?

Eparavu

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #38 on: July 30, 2010, 03:03:30 PM »
So what? You've failed to really clarify what is is you're driving at. Are you just trying to bother me now? Are you bored? Does anyone remember when this thread was about a clone pilot?

No hate here, only creeper love.
Watching you through your windows.
Staring from a distance.
Always watching.
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ALWAYS.

Drake Vhett

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Re: Vode None.
« Reply #39 on: July 30, 2010, 03:59:16 PM »
We're killing time until you put up the next chapter.


Drake is flamboyant, and may go over the top, but if he were not that extrovert then who would move things along?