Author Topic: [COMPLETE] NEVER Piss off a Deity  (Read 1665 times)

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Kyr'am Galaar

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[COMPLETE] NEVER Piss off a Deity
« on: September 10, 2011, 01:55:20 AM »
This is a one-shot of a attempt at humor. Please tell me if it was funny or not. I need the ego boost. Or the ego drainer, depending on your reaction... (JK)




"I can very well say whatever the hell I want on the World Wide Spider Webs, thank you very much!" Kyr'am said hautily. "And yet you all still love me anyway." Silence. "Right?" More silence. "Hello?" Kyr'am's voice echoed in the now very empty room. "Well, now that was just rude." Kyr'am's echo, instead of... Well... Echoing him. Decided to answer him instead. "They don't like you," it said matter-of-factly. "You are quite boring..." Kyr'am's eyes widened so much you'd swear that his eyeballs were gonna just pop out. "The deities have come for me! AAHHH!!!" Kyr'am screamed like a little girl and jumped out a nearby window, leaving a decidedly Kyr'am-shaped hole in the glass. The deity in question chuckled to himself before materialising as Kyr'am himself. Although the fact that he was wearing a frilly pink tutu, large wooden clogs, rainbow colored hair frizzed into an afro, HUGE loop earings, rich ruby red lipstick, vibrant acid green eyeshadow, thick black eyeliner, and a thick layer of hot pink blush, tended to make you think that this probably wasn't the real Kyr'am. You never know though... A big camera suddenly appeared in front of this rather horribly clothed Kyr'am, who quickly struck a very girly pose, and snapped a picture. This picture was sent out into the internetz, effectively ruining what little reputation Kyr'am had. This "Kyr'am" set the camera to record a video, then promptly danced some of Swan Lake, whilst occasionally making kissy faces at the camera. The video was also sent out, making Kyr'am the laughing stock of the world. While this was all going on, Kyr'am himself was still plummeting to the ground. He sighed, "I'm going to have to have a little talk with the archetectural committee about this. I mean, who's bright idea was it to put that room at the very edge of the Earth's outer atmosphere?" Kyr'am closed his eyes and said, "Aw well... At least I'm gonna land in the ocean." Just a minute or so later, Kyr'am smacked down on top of a small car going down a road in the middle of Russia. Obviously nowhere near the ocean... The car promptly exploded, sending Kyr'am back above the clouds. Another long fall later, Kyr'am managed to land right onto a political debate in Washington D.C. in the United States. Luckily for Kyr'am, and unluckily for certain others, his fall was broken by President Barack Obama. Kyr'am quickly got off the now unnaturally flat president, and ran out of the room. Many years later, Obama was living a relatively peacefull life as the World's First (and, with any luck, last) real-life two-dimensional man. Kyr'am, for his part, was fairly sure he didn't dress up as a freak ballerina. He couldn't be completely sure however, because Kyr'am was quite prone to doing things like that then forgetting all about them...

THE END


Kyr'am Galaar had just finished telling his many grandchildren one of the stories from his youth. The grandchildren in question were currently sitting, open-mouthed, wondering how anyone could be so utterly rediculous. "Well, there is a very important lesson in this story. Anyone know what it is?" Kyr'am asked. They stared at him. Kyr'am smiled. "NEVER piss off a deity."

Shereshoy

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Re: [COMPLETE] NEVER Piss off a Deity
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2011, 02:30:35 PM »
*cough text wall cough*

Keep telling stories like that and you don't have to worry about grandkids. ;)
“God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night the brighter they shine”
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You are two parts personality and one part confusion.- Eparavu

Ky'ram Parjai'Kote

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Re: [COMPLETE] NEVER Piss off a Deity
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2011, 04:02:43 PM »
Ooh...cyberburnage.
Lists of games I play:
-- Star Trek Online
-- KOTOR (1 and 2)
-- SWTOR
-- Terraria
-- TF2
-- Magicka
-- Left 4 Dead 2
-- Garry's Mod
And nearly any other F2P game on this planet.

Rune

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Re: [COMPLETE] NEVER Piss off a Deity
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2011, 04:38:08 PM »
Two questions:

1. What have you been smoking?

And 2. Do you have enough to share?

Shereshoy

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Re: [COMPLETE] NEVER Piss off a Deity
« Reply #4 on: September 10, 2011, 06:23:13 PM »
Two questions:

1. What have you been smoking?

And 2. Do you have enough to share?
THIS is funny.
“God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night the brighter they shine”
-David Nicholas


You are two parts personality and one part confusion.- Eparavu

Ky'ram Parjai'Kote

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Re: [COMPLETE] NEVER Piss off a Deity
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2011, 06:25:06 PM »
See signature...

And yes. That is the legendary Eduard Kihl, performing his all-time hit single: Trolololol.
Lists of games I play:
-- Star Trek Online
-- KOTOR (1 and 2)
-- SWTOR
-- Terraria
-- TF2
-- Magicka
-- Left 4 Dead 2
-- Garry's Mod
And nearly any other F2P game on this planet.

Shereshoy

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Re: [COMPLETE] NEVER Piss off a Deity
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2011, 06:29:07 PM »
Good news for the world- Can't see the sig.
“God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night the brighter they shine”
-David Nicholas


You are two parts personality and one part confusion.- Eparavu

Ky'ram Parjai'Kote

  • Disgruntled MMORPG
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  • Hates Bioware officially.
Re: [COMPLETE] NEVER Piss off a Deity
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2011, 08:45:32 PM »
I hate GifBin.
Lists of games I play:
-- Star Trek Online
-- KOTOR (1 and 2)
-- SWTOR
-- Terraria
-- TF2
-- Magicka
-- Left 4 Dead 2
-- Garry's Mod
And nearly any other F2P game on this planet.