Author Topic: Hope Squad: Stone-Cold (BETA Chapters)  (Read 12055 times)

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Laney97

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Re: Hope Squad: Stone-Cold (BETA Chapters)
« Reply #20 on: December 21, 2011, 03:30:45 PM »
Okay, already updated Chapter 1, and the Prologue is now live on my fanfiction.net account. That has all the changes on it.

Shereshoy

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Re: Hope Squad: Stone-Cold (BETA Chapters)
« Reply #21 on: December 21, 2011, 08:07:11 PM »
Can I be frank?

Okay, I know they're clones, but can we really only mange to give them recycled personalities? Almost every squad I see written has at least two of the following: Sev, Atin, Boss, Niner, Scorch.
I mean, I guess I understand, but still.

And try re-writing this sentence:
Ky'ram thought she was dumb, because of his bad history with Jedi.
Try "After his experiences with the Jedi, it was the latter."


I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to help.
“God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night the brighter they shine”
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You are two parts personality and one part confusion.- Eparavu

Mia Ge'tal'mesh

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Re: Hope Squad: Stone-Cold (BETA Chapters)
« Reply #22 on: December 22, 2011, 12:34:57 AM »
Haven't read this yet, the title just caught my attention.  No offense, I thought this was one of the other HOPE Squad stories.  Is your story supposed to be about the canon HOPE Squad or a different squad with sort of the same name?


Can I be frank?

Okay, I know they're clones, but can we really only mange to give them recycled personalities? Almost every squad I see written has at least two of the following: Sev, Atin, Boss, Niner, Scorch.
I mean, I guess I understand, but still.
Honestly, it's almost always lazy writing.  But there's also something to the idea that if they're all trained by the same guy, and they learn by their example, they're going to develop some common traits.  Don't know if that's what's going on here, just saying...
"To say nothing is true, is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say everything is permitted, is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic."

Laney97

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Re: Hope Squad: Stone-Cold (BETA Chapters)
« Reply #23 on: December 22, 2011, 10:22:32 AM »
Can I be frank?

Okay, I know they're clones, but can we really only mange to give them recycled personalities? Almost every squad I see written has at least two of the following: Sev, Atin, Boss, Niner, Scorch.
I mean, I guess I understand, but still.

And try re-writing this sentence:Try "After his experiences with the Jedi, it was the latter."


I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to help.

The point of the story is to introduce my take on the mentioned commandos, without actually using them. If that makes sense.

Haven't read this yet, the title just caught my attention.  No offense, I thought this was one of the other HOPE Squad stories.  Is your story supposed to be about the canon HOPE Squad or a different squad with sort of the same name?

Honestly, it's almost always lazy writing.  But there's also something to the idea that if they're all trained by the same guy, and they learn by their example, they're going to develop some common traits.  Don't know if that's what's going on here, just saying...

Different squad. Sorry, I didn't know a squad named Hope existed.

And I don't have much of a plan for this story beyond how it'll end, and how it started. Everything in the middle is going to be made on the fly. Hey, I do this for fun. Writing helps me release emotions.

Shereshoy

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Re: Hope Squad: Stone-Cold (BETA Chapters)
« Reply #24 on: December 22, 2011, 10:25:54 AM »
You do have a point, in theory, their brains would have the same kinds of folds for the majority of their lives, so they would think and act very similarly, perhaps even identically.
But I believe cloning humans is unethical and will only lead to trouble because humans, by nature, question their roles in life and non-clones won't be too nice to what could possibly be a sub-race.

Wow. There's more science and philosophy in that paragraph than most people will use all day. Silly people.
“God's promises are like the stars; the darker the night the brighter they shine”
-David Nicholas


You are two parts personality and one part confusion.- Eparavu

Mia Ge'tal'mesh

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Re: Hope Squad: Stone-Cold (BETA Chapters)
« Reply #25 on: December 23, 2011, 12:43:33 AM »
Different squad. Sorry, I didn't know a squad named Hope existed.
There's these guys, who're the canon squad, and then there's these stories, which are a more serious RepCom take on the goofier canon comic.
"To say nothing is true, is to realize that the foundations of society are fragile and that we must be the shepherds of our own civilization. To say everything is permitted, is to understand that we are the architects of our actions, and that we must live with their consequences, whether glorious or tragic."